Are Women with Disabilities Asexual?
The belief that women with disabilities are asexual is a result of deeply entrenched cultural and social prejudices. Many people associate femininity with physical beauty, mobility, and productivity.
A lady with disability affirming that she is a sexual being (Microsoft Designer)
At 27, *Achieng' (not her real name), had dreams like any other young woman in Nairobi. She longed for love, companionship, and intimacy. Yet, society constantly reminded her that these desires were not meant for someone like her—a woman with a physical disability. Born with cerebral palsy, Achieng' had spent her life fighting not only for mobility but also for the right to be seen as a woman with emotions, desires, and a longing for affection. Every time she expressed interest in a romantic relationship, she was met with shock, pity, or outright dismissal.
“Who would want to date you?” one of her acquaintances once scoffed. “People like you don’t think about such things.”
This is the reality for many women with disabilities. They are often perceived as asexual—incapable or unworthy of romantic and sexual relationships. But where does this misconception come from, and how does it affect their lives?
The Asexuality Myth: A Deeply Rooted Social Misconception
The belief that women with disabilities are asexual is a result of deeply entrenched cultural and social prejudices. Many people associate femininity with physical beauty, mobility, and productivity. A woman who does not fit into these conventional standards is often desexualized.
Many people assume that disabled women cannot bear children, take care of a household, or satisfy a partner sexually. These biases not only diminish their worth but also lead to systematic exclusion from discussions about love, relationships, and sexual health.
In traditional African societies, marriage and reproduction are often viewed as key markers of womanhood. When a woman with a disability expresses her desire for intimacy, she is often met with disbelief, as if such needs should not exist in her world.
Barriers to Sexual Expression and Relationships
Women with disabilities in face numerous challenges when it comes to expressing their sexuality. These include:
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Societal Attitudes and Stigma
Many people still view disability as a misfortune or even a curse. Women with disabilities are often infantilized, seen as perpetual children who should be cared for rather than independent adults capable of loving and being loved.
Romantic relationships involving disabled women are sometimes viewed as an anomaly. Men who date or marry women with disabilities often face ridicule, with people questioning their choices. This creates a barrier for women seeking meaningful relationships, as they may struggle to find partners willing to look beyond societal prejudices.
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Limited Sexual and Reproductive Health Education
Discussions about sexual and reproductive health rarely include women with disabilities. In many cases, healthcare providers assume that these women are not sexually active, leading to inadequate sexual health education, lack of contraceptive access, and poor maternal healthcare services.
There have also been cases where disabled women seeking contraceptives or prenatal care are questioned about why they need such services. Some are even sterilized without their consent, reinforcing the notion that they should not bear children.
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Abuse and Exploitation
The desexualization of disabled women often makes them vulnerable to abuse. Because society does not see them as sexual beings, their experiences of sexual violence are often dismissed or overlooked. Cases of disabled women being sexually assaulted are frequently ignored because people assume they do not engage in sexual relationships. This lack of recognition exacerbates the problem and makes seeking justice difficult.
Changing the Narrative: Recognizing the Sexuality of Disabled Women
It is crucial to challenge the myth that women with disabilities are asexual. Here are some steps that can help reshape perceptions:
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Inclusive Sexual Education and Awareness
Sexual health education must be inclusive of women with disabilities. This means ensuring that disability-friendly reproductive health services are available and that healthcare providers are trained to address their specific needs without discrimination.
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Representation in Media and Public Spaces
Kenyan media plays a significant role in shaping societal perceptions. There needs to be more representation of disabled women in romantic roles in TV shows, films, and advertisements. When people see disabled women engaging in relationships, it helps normalize their sexuality.
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Community Sensitization
Community awareness programs should focus on debunking myths about disability and sexuality. By engaging families, religious leaders, and local organizations, it is possible to create a more accepting society where women with disabilities are seen as full human beings with desires, dreams, and the right to love and be loved.
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Legal Protection and Advocacy
The government and human rights organizations must ensure that women with disabilities are protected from discrimination in relationships, reproductive health services, and justice systems. Laws should be enforced to prevent forced sterilization and ensure accessibility to sexual and reproductive healthcare.
Women with disabilities are not asexual. They experience the same range of emotions, desires, and needs as any other women. However, due to societal prejudices, many are denied the right to explore and express their sexuality.
Achieng’, like many other Kenyan women with disabilities, continues to fight for her right to love and be loved. As a society, we must challenge outdated beliefs, promote inclusion, and recognize that disability does not erase womanhood. Only then can we create a society where all women have the freedom to express their desires and live fulfilling lives.
Article by: Emomeri Maryanne